In a group, you're always dealing with people of different types. They take on
different "roles" in the group, according to their personality. During group work or discussion, group members can develop typical behaviors, which are presented below in a simplified and schematic way.
Leaders (facilitators of the conversation) should be familiar with the most common "types" so that they can respond correctly and provide appropriate support.
The one who loves telling stories
He always brings his experiences to any situation (whether it's appropriate or not) and always has something to say about every problem.
He often dominates with his opinions and convictions, without really getting involved with others.
Useful reaction:
Listen carefully and find out: what fills this person?
Interrupt the flow of words by summarizing your contribution and responding like this:
"I understand you"
(Those who love to tell stories often talk so much and on and on
because they feel that no one hears or understands them). Depending on the situation, draw their attention to the lack of connection with the previous contributions of the other participants or the lack of connection with the topic - to help them learn to listen better.
The shy one
Withdraws, usually in silence (for various reasons: lack of self-esteem;
difficulty getting their bearings quickly during a conversation; feeling of being
dominated by others). At most, he asks a question every now and then.
Useful response:
Don't push, but be aware of these group members (maintain regular eye contact to perceive them consciously and notice them).
React positively to contributions (rarely) during the conversation, receive them consciously so that the group can remain at that point.
The rejectionist one
The rejector often blocks the conversation, sees everything only from their negative side, often rivals others, diminishing or criticizing the contributions of others.
Useful reaction:
Put yourself in that person's shoes. Look for and value the positive aspect of their
contributions. If this doesn't help, confront them with their behavior at the appropriate time.
(Caution: Do not judge the behavior,
just describe your own observation!)
Give the group member space to react to this.
Take this reaction seriously, as it shows where the problem lies.
The pious one
The pious don't see any problems and usually have a "suitable" biblical quotation
ready on the tip of his tongue. They can appear very self-righteous and instructive
("legalistic") with others, but often conveys little love for others.
Useful reaction:
See the positive side, but question critically.
Be careful that he doesn't dominate the conversation.
Ask others to express their opinion and impression of what has been said:
"Has that helped you with what has been said now?"
Ask if the godly person also knows these or those problems - encourage mutual openness and honesty, strengthening the "weak" in the group.
The oppressed one
The oppressed are often blocked by a specific experience that
prevents them from participating actively. They feel miserable and lonely, they seek attention, pity and sympathy.
Useful answer:
Find the right moment to ask directly: "What is
worrying you, what is oppressing you?" Take the situation seriously, directing
the group to that person. If the knot doesn't
unravel, you may need longer psychological counseling
(initially in a one-to-one conversation).
The one with the initiative
Impetuous, with ideas and plans to win over the group.
Asks radical questions, seeks solutions.
Useful reaction:
Take it seriously (see the positive side), but
Steer the group in the right direction: ask the others what they think about it
(mediate between the initiator and the group).
Assign tasks and responsibilities to this person so that they can express their initiative.
Important!
Look for and see the positive in everything. The different 'types'
complement each other. However, they can also get in the way and
hinder each other. As group leaders, it's our job to help each other become
each other to become 'allies of joy'!
Notice about the processing of this article in the leaders' circle:
Discuss these documents and the situation in your youth group, your
experiences with this situation among yourselves in the leaders' circle. Try to find the right attitude (becoming "collaborators of joy") towards each other and towards
the different members of your youth group.
Question:
Which of the typical behaviors do you recognize in yourself?
Which ones do you find in other leaders?
Try to have an open - but also pastoral - conversation about this!
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